Light in the Darkness - Marie Alford-Harkey
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Light in the Darkness Sermon for Epiphany 3A
Reovery Sunday/Healing Service
January 26, 2014
Marie Alford-Harkey
Trinity Episcopal Church, Hartford
Matthew 4:12-23
In his book, The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen says, “Our own experience with loneliness, depression, and fear can become a gift for others, especially when we have received good care. When we experience the healing presence of another person, we can discover our own gifts of healing. Then our wounds allow us to enter into a deep solidarity with our wounded brothers and sisters. We have to trust that our own bandaged wounds will allow us to listen to others with our whole beings. That is healing.”
Most of us have experienced times of loneliness, depression, or fear in our lives. Most of us know what it feels like to sit in darkness and the shadow of death.
There have certainly been more a few of those times in my life. But I think the worst ones are when I have screwed up – big time. Times when I have failed myself and those who love and care about me. There have been times when I have felt that even God could not possibly love me.
And of course there were people who made those times in my life even worse. They told me exactly what I had done wrong, and assured me that I would be forever defined by my worst moments.
But in those bad times, it seems that there have always been people around me who were able to be my light in the darkness.
I remember a friend who came to my house, hugged me, and then put me in her car and took me to a drumming circle. I remember a friend who sat and cried with me in grief. I remember the time a friend looked me in the eye and said, “I know you will get through this.” And I remember a friend who told me in the midst of failure, “You will be a better minister because of this.”
I remember the group of friends who told me, “We will hold your light for you, until you are strong enough to take it back.”
When I couldn’t hold it for myself, those people held the knowledge that my life was not defined by one failure. They reminded me that I would come out of the time of darkness and grief. Those people were my great light in the darkness. They were my healers.
And so I know the truth of Nouwen’s words about being a wounded healer. My own experiences with pain and loneliness and the healing that I experienced helps me offer the gift of healing to others.
I wonder if Peter and Andrew and James and John realized that Jesus was inviting them to help heal the world. Because that’s what Jesus means when he talks about the kingdom of God – healing the world in the here and now, not going to some place far away.
Galilee in Jesus’ time was a region of darkness for the Jews. Under Roman occupation, the elite of the Roman Empire were supported on the backs of the rural Jewish peasants who made up most of Jesus’ audience. They were taxed beyond their means, they were poor and hungry, and barely able to survive.
As fishermen, Peter, Andrew, James, and John, were trying to eke out a living supplying the fish quotas for the Roman Empire. Their impulsive decisions to leave what little livelihood they had and follow Jesus would mean even harder times for their families.
But is it any wonder that Jesus’ call was compelling? Of course these fishermen yearned for some light in the darkness. Of course they longed for a different world, and empire that didn’t break their backs and their spirits. How excited they must have been to hear that a new one was near.
I wonder if these disciples knew that the kingdom of heaven that Jesus said was near depended upon their help to arrive. I doubt it. I doubt they understood the implications of Jesus’ offer to make them “fishers of people.” I doubt that any of us know where Jesus’ call in our lives will lead us.
I imagine that if they had known, Peter, Andrew, James, and John would have protested. I imagine they would have said they were not ready to participate in creating the kingdom of God.
But Jesus called them to change their minds, to think differently about themselves. Jesus believed that they could help him make the kingdom of heaven come near. And so they did.
Today, we pray for healing for ourselves. We experience this community as our light in the darkness. Then, with our own wounds bandaged, we can answer God’s call to bring the kingdom of heaven near by bringing healing to others.